is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
