This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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