I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
