You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
