Porn is love you can see.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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