take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
