cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
