I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
