I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
being pregnant is like rehab
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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