let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
