tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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