kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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