More tranny stories later!
oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
