I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That was before I lit my hair on fire
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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