I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
