Is it because I queefed?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
