Sry I called you an 8
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
