dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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