Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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