I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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