Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
