Cold hands, warm shart.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
