I hate your face
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
