No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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