i just wanna soil my oats bro
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
