I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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