How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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