You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I woke up under a house in Key West
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
