We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
