what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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