this just has baby written all over it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
