Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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