You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
