dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
