I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
