R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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