You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
