I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
