to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just high enough for therapy.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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