So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
