Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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