I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
