I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Randomize
