Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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