oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
