His pubic hair was longer than his dick
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
