I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
