i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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