It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
