can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
