i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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