my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
