Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
