My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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